Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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