she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this will be a night to untag.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry about my life...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
