I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just tell him i said nine months
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
