Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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