so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I FOUND THE LEGS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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