I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
