So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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