im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
