Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
