it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
