I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
