I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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