If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
