Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
