Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
