someone get that fucking seahorse.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
