ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
