I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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