are you so shy because you have an std?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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