why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize