Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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