So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
