I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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