it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it because I queefed?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
