Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
