I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize