yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
