Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
