I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
