hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
