I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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