im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
