But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
