Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this hospital has no fireball
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
