Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
