You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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