I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
