Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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