He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
