Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
