If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
