So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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