I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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