ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
