Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
