At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
