And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
