i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
this is an emotional support booty call
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
