Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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