so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
