Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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