thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Two words: nipple clamps
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