oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it because I queefed?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
