fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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