I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
