like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
