If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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