It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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