I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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