what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
